Beyond the players who will be featured in my documentary released next month, there are others who have opened up about their mental health and shared stories of times they have struggled with life as a professional player, contributing to breaking the stigma around this subject within the sport. Earlier this week I shared the mental health journeys of four WTA players, but there are some ATP case studies worth highlighting too.
Andy Murray
Andy Murray often speaks about his feelings and is unafraid to show emotion, openly crying on court in the past, and has worked with psychologists in the past to improve his mental state on tour. He has highlighted the importance of this in several interviews and hopes that being open with his emotions will encourage other men to do the same. After spending over a year struggling with a hip injury that kept him out of the sport and having to announce his retirement at the start of this year, Andy has since opened up about the toll that difficult period took on his mental health now that he has had further hip surgery and been able to return to the sport.
"I got really emotional because I had been keeping it inside for a long time [...] I think as athletes, we don't like to show our competition weakness. I did feel much better once I actually spoke and was honest about it and said look, I don't feel good."
Andy Murray for BBC Newsround on his January retirement announcement, July 2019
Mardy Fish
One of the big aims I have for the future of tennis with this project is that players will one day be able to pull out of tournaments citing their mental health, and this would receive no reaction because it would be an accepted norm. This was also one of the questions I had when becoming interested in this topic - had anyone actually ever admitted to pulling out of a match because of their mental health? Now retired American player Mardy Fish is one of the only real examples of someone who had done this, though he wrote about it three years later. In 2015, Mardy wrote an open letter on The Weight, revealing that three years earlier when he pulled out of a match against Federer at the US Open, this had actually been because he was struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. After his career had improved, Mardy explained how he then felt he always needed to do better and that this had spiralled and become a feeling too difficult to turn off, resulting in his withdrawal of the 2012 US Open. After taking time away from the sport, he was able to return to the US Open three years later, and shared his story to set an example about how players are able to return to a better state of mind with the right help, and by having the conversation.
"We were in the car, driving to my next match against Roger — and my thoughts were filling with dread. Would it happen on the court again? Was I going to get an anxiety attack, again, in front of thousands of people? Was I going to get an anxiety attack while trying to do my job? [...] This is a story about how a mental health problem took my job away from me. And about how, three years later, I am doing that job again — and doing it well. I am playing in the U.S. Open again. This is a story about how, with the right education, and conversation, and treatment, and mindset, the things that mental illness takes away from us — we can take them back."
Mardy Fish for The Weight, September 2015
Steve Johnson
Last year, Steve Johnson opened up to the ATP Tour website about his struggles with his mental health, following the passing of his father a year earlier. He admitted to feeling emotionally exhausted when returning to play twelve days later, and sobbed after beating Coric in the third round of the 2017 French Open. A few weeks later, he broke down again when he lost to Cilic in Wimbledon and was admitted to hospital. He opened up about this mental struggle to The Telegraph, and revealed his struggle with panic attacks and how it took until after the US Open in September 2017 to start feeling like himself again.
"I have struggled with this in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I lost three of my four matches in Australia at the beginning of the year, and when I got home, I started having panic and anxiety attacks. They were frequent, too. They didn’t feel normal, but I’ve realised they are normal. They’re not something to shy away from. [...] I’ve learned that it’s okay to talk about it. It is not easy to deal with by any means. I tried the macho man deal for months, telling people I was fine until I was by myself and I could let go."
Steve Johnson for ATP Tour 'My Point', May 2018
Andrey Rublev
After getting injured in 2018 and missing a big part of the season, Andrey Rublev opened up on Behind The Racquet this year about feeling depressed because he was unable to play tennis. For the first two months of his back injury, Andrey was unable to train or do anything and found it difficult to be kept away from the sport, finding that following other players' results only made him feel worse. He also spoke to the ATP Tour for their website, to share his difficult mental period during the recovery for his physical injury and how he initially felt lost when first returning to the tour. Since opening up, Rublic has managed to get his career back on track, beat Federer in August this year and has now been nominated for ATP comeback player of the year.
"I missed the sport so much and all I wanted to do was compete. I clearly remember nothing else at the time was making me happy. It truly was one of the toughest moments of my career. I was born to compete and now I couldn’t and that’s where moments of depression came from. I would try to not keep up with any results from tournaments. Any time I did, by accident, it would make me really upset to see other players doing something I couldn’t at the time."
Andrey Rublev for Behind The Racquet, July 2019